As Channel 4 are using my local Sainsbury's as their base for 'What's Cooking?', there are even more famous faces wandering around the store (and a free seat to view live in the car park based studio!). Therefore, it seems appropriate to publish the story I wrote for the Mum's Net bedtime story competition because I wrote it after seeing a footballer in that very same shop. My story poem didn't get shortlisted but I didn't really stick to the topic of a bedtime story so what did I expect? Anyway, the rights to it are mine again now and I hope you like it!
I Just Saw A Footballer
By Alexandra Smith
I just saw a footballer in the supermarket doing his quick shop.
He had his girlfriend with him and she was chattering non-stop.
His hair was brown and wavy; he was tall and big and strong.
His lady was quite pretty and her legs were very long.
They walked towards the checkout then someone gave a shout:
'Aren't you that footballer who crashed into a roundabout?'
The footballer was so embarrassed, he turned bright red and said:
'That wasn't me, it was a boy called Little Tommy Ted.'
'Little Tommy Ted,' I said. 'That's me you silly fool.'
'I couldn't have done it because I still go to school!'
He stared at me with his mouth wide open.
Then almost dropped his discount token.
'Little Tommy Ted,' he said. 'Thank goodness you're alive.
I thought I asked you to wash my car not take it for a drive!'
My mum growled through gritted teeth: 'What's this about cleaning cars?
I hope you haven't been driving them too; I don't want you behind bars.'
'Sorry Mum, I just do it now and then to earn a bit of cash.'
I thought she'd be quite impressed but she gave the trolley a bash.
We'd attracted lots of people as we were getting rather loud.
'I don't drive them though!' I told the nosy crowd.
I turned to the stunned footballer and did my sorry-face.
'A man in striped pyjamas said it was his and he needed it for a race.'
'What did he look like?' The footballer had to ask.
'I don't know,' I said 'He was wearing a mask.'
I began to realise that this man must have been a thief.
A shopper started to mumble, 'Well really boy, good grief!'
'I'd recognise him again,' I claimed. 'He had a really cool bag.
It was a big black sack and I think that it said SWAG.'
'What's going on down there?' A shop assistant cried.
Then out came an announcement: 'Move out of aisle five!'
I ran towards the deli. Mum legged-it to the bread.
The footballer chased me in to a kitchen where the chef shook her head.
'You're not allowed in here,' she shouted and threw a ball of dough.
I kicked it in to the oven and gasped 'Sorry, I didn't know!'
I darted back in to the store and finally found my mum.
'Quick,' I said. 'Or else that man's going to kick my bum!'
'Stop! Stop!' He bellowed. 'I can't keep up.
I think you should be playing in the next World Cup.'
'Do you?' I asked coming to a halt.
He crashed in to a display of cakes and knocked them over with a jolt.
'Yes I do but first of all you're going to make a statement.
People need to know it wasn't me who hit that circular pavement.'
Mum drove us to the Police Station and she kept saying 'hush.'
So me, the footballer and his girlfriend all sat in silence watching her rush.
We arrived at the front desk and asked to see the chief.
But a different lady sat us down and I told her about the thief.
She filled in lots of forms and gave Mum a cup of tea.
Then we had to say goodbye to the footballer and I asked him to call me.
When I got home, I heard a ringing tone,
And picked up our noisy little phone.
On the other end was a man with an official voice:
'Is that Little Tommy Ted? I'm afraid you've left us with no choice...'
I jumped when I heard him say it but I managed to hold the phone steady.
'... We have a space for you on our youth team; you can start whenever you're ready.'
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Disclaimer: These tips are created from lessons I have learnt during my own experience. With regard to the content and advice on this blog, Alexandra Smith makes no representations or warranties about its accuracy, reliability or suitability for anyone. Any reliance you place on the blog or its content is at your own discretion and in no event will Alexandra be liable for any loss, damage or injury in connection with your use.